A Very Angel Sanctuary Christmas
by Recalled to Life
Summary: A collection of random, somewhat connected, Christmas-themed one-shots. Arakune throws a party, Michael bakes cookies, etc. Happy Holidays.
1. Declaration of Intent

**Author's Note: **'Tis the season, so… yeah. On to the random, Christmas-themed one-shots!

**Disclaimer**: I am not Yuki-sama, so I don't own Angel Sanctuary *sob*

* * *

"It's Christmas!" Arakune exclaimed.

Kurai, Noise, and Voice groaned simultaneously. To them, the past few weeks had been an ordinary time in Gehenna, but no, Arakune just _had_ to insist that since it was almost Christmas, they had to celebrate… or something… How much sense did that make? They were demons, for crying out loud! Leave Christmas to the angels or something…

"Come on, show some Christmas spirit!" Arakune enthused. "There will be presents and decorating and cookies and eggnog and, of course, mistletoe!"

"Sounds fun," sarcasm oozed from Kurai's every pore.

"Doesn't it, though?" Arakune chose to ignore it.

"Sounds kinda silly. Especially that part about mistletoe, eh, Kurai-hime?" Voice laughed nervously before Noise punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, real silly," Kurai sighed. "Unless…" _Unless Setsuna was there too…_

"That's it!" Arakune suddenly shouted. "We're throwing a Christmas party!"

"A… party?" Kurai twitched.

"Yes, a party," Arakune nodded. "Everyone will be invited. Oh, this will be fun!"

"If you say so," Noise shrugged.

"We need a tree and some lights and eggnog and hot chocolate and cookies and…"

* * *

**A/N**: Gomennasai, that was kind of short. I'll write more of these, though.


	2. Baking Cookies

**Author's Note**: Partially based on a true story… No, really, this one happened.

**Disclaimer**: Still no own…

* * *

"Stupid demon party," Michael muttered. "And stupid Raphael for making me go…"

The Archangel of Fire was not in a good mood. He was being forced against his will to go to that Gehenna party, and Raphael had insisted that he bake cookies for everyone. Then again, he was the Archangel of Fire. How hard could it be?

He rolled out the dough and used the cookie cutters to make pretty shapes. Ha, this was simple. Reindeers and trees and stars and all that other crap… Raphael was just being lazy, making him do this. He put the dough on a tray, slid it into the oven, and set the timer for seven minutes.

"Piece of cake," he laughed.

Seven minutes later, he pulled the cookies back out.

"Looks like they need some more time," he decided. He put the cookies back in, and set the timer for two minutes.

Two minutes expired, and the cookies seemed not to be done yet. Michael grunted in frustration and set the timer for another minute.

After another minute, the cookies still looked very much unbaked. Michael set the timer for two minutes again. He was getting tired of waiting…

Still, nothing.

"What the hell is wrong with these cookies?!?" Michael screamed as he threw the tray back into the oven. "They… are… not… baking…" He set the timer for thirty minutes, "Ha, that oughta do it…"

He waited. And waited. Raphael stopped by for a moment after twenty minutes had passed and happened to look at the oven.

"Um… Mika-chan? These cookies…"

"They better be baking, that's all I can say!" Michael spat.

"But the oven…" Raphael hesitated. "You… forgot to turn it on…"


	3. The Twelve Days of Eternal Hell

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Angel Sanctuary or The Twelve Days of Christmas (it never ends!).

* * *

"Christmas… meh…" Katou sighed. He had never paid much attention to the holiday. But now that he was living with Uriel and Doll, he couldn't get away from it. Doll was singing as she hung the stockings.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree…"

Katou sighed again. He never really cared for Christmas music either.

"On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree."

Oh, crap… It was this song, the one that kept repeating itself.

"On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Um… Doll?" Katou cleared his throat.

"On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

She was done hanging the stockings. Why was she still here, singing? Why? Why this song? Why not something quick, like Jingle Bells?

"On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Um, Doll?" Katou tried again. "Could you please stop singing that song?"

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

Did she not hear him or something? He had been perfectly polite about it, hadn't he?

"On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Hey, is he just your true love cuz he's giving you all this stuff?" Katou joked lamely.

"On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

"Eight maids… Hey! That's slavery! Not cool!" Katou laughed nervously.

"On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

What…? Was she oblivious? He grimaced.

"On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten pipers piping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

The song… the song… Would it never end?! Katou bit down on his tongue.

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eleven drummers drumming, ten pipers piping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."

Katou's tongue was starting to bleed. Not to mention his ears. How long could one person sing?

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me twelve lords a-leaping-"

"That's _it_!" Katou screamed. "I can't take it anymore! I just can't take it!" He gave a wordless scream of frustration before storming out of the room.

"…eleven drummers drumming, ten pipers piping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree."


	4. The Christmas Tree

**Disclaimer**: My name is not Kaori Yuki or Charles Schulz… Just so you know.

* * *

"Come on, Voice," Noise called. "Arakune said we have to get a Christmas tree for the party."

"I'm coming as fast as I can," Voice grunted as he carried a huge ax over his shoulder. "This thing ain't so light, you know…"

"Voice," Noise hit her forehead with the palm of her hand. "I was thinking we would go to a store and _buy_ the tree…"

"From humans? Not a chance!" Voice exclaimed. "I'm getting one by myself!"

"I don't like the humans either, but… You know what, you do that…" Noise sighed. "At the end of the day, we'll see who has the better tree."

Voice marched through the evergreen forest with purpose and zeroed in on the biggest tree he saw.

"Sorry, sis, but I'm right, and I'll prove it," Voice chuckled. He swung his ax at the base of the tree, but nothing seemed to happen.

"Too big, I guess," Voice shrugged and scoped out the second-largest tree. He couldn't make a dent in that one either. This was going to take awhile…

* * *

"Hey, Voice, how'd you make out?" Noise had bought a decent tree from the humans. Not a spectacular tree, mind you, but not one that would bring shame to the owner.

"Great," Voice beamed as he placed a little evergreen tree branch at her feet. "My tree… Well… It has character! If we decorate it and sing pretty Christmas songs around it, it'll turn into the most beautiful tree ever!"

"Riiight…" Noise sighed. "Come on, let's get this tree back to Gehenna; leave the twig."

"I hear you," Voice nodded.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Sorry if that was stupid…


	5. Letters to Santa

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Angel Sanctuary, although I really wish I could draw like that.

* * *

Dear Santa,  
I've been a very good boy this year. Well... kinda. But skipping and incest never really hurt anyone, did they? This year, I'd like a ring... It doesn't have to be anything really fancy, but it _is_ for Sara... You see, the old one broke and... uh... Thanks?  
Love,  
Setsuna

Dear Santa,  
I hope you are well. I've tried my hardest to be good this year, and I have a special request. Could you please possibly find some way for my nii-chan and I to be together? If you can't, I understand, but it would mean a lot to me. Thank you.  
Love,  
Sara

Dear Santa,  
Come on, Gramps! Don't deprive a poor, undead junkie of toys again! I still can't believe you wouldn't give me that red fire truck a few years back... I was good! Please?  
Love,  
Katou

Dear Santa,  
...Why am I bothering?  
-Lucifer


	6. Metatron's Gift

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Angel Sanctuary.

* * *

"Sevy!" Metatron called. "Sevy, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Metatron-sama," Sevotharte sighed. "I'm busy right now… Later."

Metatron frowned as a sister took him away. It was almost Christmas, but Metatron had no idea what Sevy wanted. Sevy never wanted to play either…

"Mr. Rabbit, what do you think I should get Sevy for Christmas?" Metatron asked. "Mr. Rabbit? …You aren't being very helpful.

"And Sevy's always busy. He never has time for me… What should I give him?"

Metatron pondered for a very long time.

* * *

"Metatron-sama?" Sevotharte said. "What was it you wanted to…?"

"Sevy!" Metatron trilled and hugged his caretaker. "I got you a Christmas present!"

"Oh… I…" Sevy wasn't quite sure what to say, especially once a bottle of aspirin was thrust into his hands. Aspirin…

"For all the headaches I give you," Metatron explained.

Sevotharte couldn't help smiling behind his mask. Aspirin… for the headaches… It was so ridiculous…

"Merry Christmas, Sevy!" Metatron beamed.

"Merry Christmas," Sevotharte considered putting Metatron's gift to use immediately.


	7. Under the Mistletoe

**Disclaimer**: Lucifer-sama is mine, you hear me, _mine_! …But other than that, I don't own Angel Sanctuary.

* * *

"And the mistletoe should go… here!" Arakune giggled. "There! Everything's perfect! Noise, how's the eggnog coming?"

"So maybe if I just wait under the mistletoe, Setsuna will…" Kurai formulated her evil plan as her cousin left the room. She positioned herself in the threshold and waited…

"Um… Hey, Kurai-hime," Voice sidled up to her. "We're under the mistletoe. Funny, huh?"

"Not now, Voice," Kurai pushed him out of the way. "I'm waiting for Setsuna."

"Setsu… Oh…" Voice sighed as he stalked off to mope over his unrequited love.

* * *

Guests began to arrive, and Kurai kept a special eye out for Setsuna. She didn't have anything really bad planned. It was innocent…

"Princess…" The voice sent chills up Kurai's spine. Oh, crap… "One is pleasantly surprised to see you here."

"Hatter…" Kurai groaned. "I live here."

"One meant here, under the mistletoe," Belial laughed. "One is not usually inclined to such behavior, but it is tradition…"

Kurai soon decided that simply waiting under the mistletoe was a really horrible idea.

* * *

"Hey, Katou…" Kira sighed.

"What?!" Katou snapped.

"I'll ignore it if you do," he pointed toward the mistletoe.

"Wha…? Kira! You'd like that, wouldn't you?! You and little Setsu-chan… Ugh, I'm outta here…"

"I said I would ignore it," Kira shrugged.

"Hey, big boy…" Arakune cooed. "See where you're standing?"

"Eh… Why not?" Kira shrugged before kissing the transvestite.

* * *

"Merry Christmas, Sara," Setsuna grinned.

"Merry Christmas, Setsuna," Sara kissed him.

Kurai sighed as she stalked off to mope over her unrequited love.


	8. EGGNOG!

**Disclaimer**: Um… Yeah, I hereby disclaim Angel Sanctuary.

* * *

"Hey, Raziel-kun…" Zaphikel slurred. "That eggnog was great. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…"

Raziel's eye twitched as he decided that, no, Zaphikel-sama really had no idea that he was talking to a lamp. The man was blind, but usually… But didn't…? Wasn't that eggnog supposed to be cold?

"Zaphikel-sama…" Raziel groaned. "I think it's time for us to go home."

"Who spiked the eggnog?" Arakune snapped.

The door slammed shut before anyone realized it had opened, and Katou seemed to have mysteriously vanished.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Well, that's all I've got… This doesn't really feel like an ending to me, though, so if anyone has any ideas, feel free to share. Happy Holidays!


End file.
